Blogging 'till the cows come home...

Hello gentle readers, and welcome back to another edition of the Swiss Cheese Report. This week we go in search of traditional Swiss culture, with visits to a mountain festival, a mountain and a restaurant serving big pots of cheese. Obviously, there's a lot of ground to cover, so let's get started.

Found it.

First up was a Saturday morning drive to the lovely mountain village of Saint-Cergue, nestled high in the Jura range, for their annual desalpe festival. Desalpes are common festivals in Switzerland where thousands come out to celebrate the return of the cows from the high mountain pastures where they spend the summer to the lower altitudes where the herds winter. No seriously, that's it: Cows are back. Party time.

If only the Islanders could draw crowds like this...

Okay, maybe the origin of the celebration had more to do with the return of the cow herds to their families than to the cows, but it definitely seemed like it was the cows getting the applause. Just saying.

Cow herds sporting gang colours.

It may go without saying, but the Swiss really love their cows, which are in many ways the embodiment of their connection to the land, the symbol of their heritage and the source of their wide selection of middle-hard cheeses. This deep appreciation is demonstrated by the loving manner in which the Swiss march them repeatedly up and down mountains adorned with giant crowns of wildflowers and extraordinarily heavy bells that clang incessantly. Because the one thing missing from a cow's life is pageantry.

Cow: Thrilled

Frankly, No Stranger Than Most Beauty Pageants

But there's more to the desalpe than the cow parades. I know what you are thinking: What more could you possibly need? True, but nevertheless, there are smiling people sitting in wooden huts selling all manner of things: hot chocolate, pastries, sausages, and strong mountain wine in tiny plastic cups (hence the smiling). There are also such Swiss hallmarks as yodlers and alpenhorns.

Alpenhorns: practical

And, lest the cows get all uppity about their celebrity, there are assorted other animals decked out in their Sunday finest for the amusement of ignorant tourists like me.

Dogs Pulling Carts of Flowers

Runner Up to Butterfly Landing on Baby's Nose Under Rainbow, Most Adorable Moment of 2010.

And there was lots to occupy the kids: assorted cow bells against which to compare their height, a playground, animal feeding area, face painting, games, and lots and lots of cow poo to jump in. Sam couldn't have had more fun.

Cow Bells the Size of a Child. Why?

Sam Feeding One of the Stars of the Show

Alas, eventually the crowd got so big that we had to go home. No, seriously. But stoked from our first truly Swiss experience (not including the five week bureaucratic shell game that is the vehicle registration process), we decided to double-down and go out for our first fondue!

Fondue: Healthy

We went to the place we'd been told sold THE best fondue in Geneva. I can only say that it was certainly the best I've had so far. That night, sitting on a terrace, eating little bits of bread dipped in wine-infused melted cheese we contemplated the shortcomings in our diet and decided that we'd really better get out and do some serious exercise.

So, on Sunday with the sun shining and the city effectively in lock-down mode, as is all the rage on Sundays, we headed out to do a hike on Le Salève. Known as "la montagne des Genevois", the mountain which rises to 1400m and towers over the city of Geneva is actually, shamefully, located across the border in France.

The Mountain in Question: French

We took the cable car to somewhere very near the top, then hiked the remaining half hour or so to the summit. I'd blame this rather feeble excuse for exercise on the fact that we were hiking with a two-year old, but Sam embraced trail running and actually overtook a group of adult hikers on the way up the not entirely gentle trail, thus confirming my suspicions that he is in fact a robot child with infinite energy reserves. The views from the top were great, but, due to unfortunate issues with downloading the pics from our camera, you'll have to make do with this picture I stole:

Dramatization

Well, that's all for this issue. Thanks for joining us for our introduction to the real Switzerland. Tune in next week when we hike to a chocolate factory in the woods.